Valentine’s Day has come to be synonymous with spending money – often a lot of money – on your significant other. Everyone knows what you’re “supposed” to buy for your sweetie on Valentine’s Day, but have you ever stopped to ask yourself if you’re buying those things because society thinks that’s the best way to express your love, or because you actually find buying those things to be the best expression of your love?
We Spend and Spend and Spend
According to a survey done by the National Retail Federation, the average person will spend $126.03 on gifts and things this Valentine’s Day, and Americans are expected to spend a total of $17.6 billion. That’s a lot of money, especially if you’re on a budget.
Anyone in the business of selling anything knows that Valentine’s Day is a big spending day for a lot of people. You only have to see the ads on TV (or the radio, or in the Newspaper, or online) to know that there are tons of sales happening the weeks leading up to V-day. And these sales are for all sorts of goods, not just the flowers, jewelry and candy you might expect. For example, I was flipping through the weekly ads from my local grocery stores, and every single one has “great deals” on cuts of steak, so you can “treat your Valentine right,” even if you’re dining in.
Even clothing and electronic stores—which don’t really sell anything classically Valentine’s-related—are having big sales in the week before Valentine’s Day. I guess the theory is that if people are out shopping anyway, might as well entice them to stop by.
All of these advertisements and sales add to the societal pressure to spend money to express your love on Valentine’s Day. They play on the fact that emotional spending is often irrational spending, and when you’re spending money irrationally, you’re more likely to confuse “wants” with “needs” and spend more than you planned.
But Do We Need to Spend So Much?
We often spend money on our loved one on Valentine’s Day in an attempt to satisfy our upper-level needs in Maslow’s hierarchy.This spending may be intended to fulfill our love and belonging needs, or those of our significant other, or our belief that the amount of money we spend shows our “value as a human being,” fulfilling our esteem and ego needs.
This spending may feel motivated by needs, but it’s usually based on irrational beliefs. Thoughts like, “She won’t love me if I don’t buy her the biggest box of chocolates available,” or “He’ll think I don’t care if I don’t get him this gold watch,” might do more harm than good.
When it comes to Valentine’s Day, it’s important to remember that the people in your life will love you no matter how much (or little) you spend on them. It’s okay if you don’t buy the biggest box of chocolates, or the bouquet of two-dozen roses, or the gold watch, or the dinner for two at the fanciest restaurant in town. You don’t have to go broke or run up a big credit card bill just to say “I love you.”
Spend Consciously
Whether you’re spending a lot of money this Valentine’s Day, or just a little, it’s a good idea to make sure you think about why you’re spending. A big night out on the town can be lots of fun, and there’s nothing wrong with indulging within your means. But it can be all too easy to fall into the trap of feeling that if you don’t go “all-out,” your special someone will feel left out. In most cases, this is just not true! If your someone is truly special, they love you just for being you and the best gift for any holiday is your thoughtfulness and attention – in whatever form is meaningful and important to both of you.
In one of our original blogs, Andres explored love and money – it’s an oldie but a goodie!
If you want to do something special, but you don’t want to break the bank, here are a few resources:
And just for fun:
Happy Valentine’s Day!
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